Wicked Pleasures

This blog is devoted to enhancing the relationships and lives of couples, males, and females across the U.S. and Canada. Adult Content.

Four Christmases: Dividing the Holidays December 3, 2009

Filed under: Good to Know,Love & Relationships — Sra. Gonzalez @ 12:03 am
Tags: , , , , ,

Growing up, your family probably had very well-honed holiday traditions. Maybe you opened up presents on Christmas Eve before heading to Midnight Mass, and Christmas Day was spent visiting your extended family members or eating a huge meal and relaxing in your PJs. Now that you’re married, your extended family just grew exponentially. Chances are, your spouse arrived with some holiday traditions of his or her own, and a family that doesn’t think those traditions will be broken just because the two of you have formed your own familial unit.

So how do you split up the holidays, keep some old traditions alive, and form some new ones of your own without stepping on any toes? To find the answer, we turned to the experts: Nesties who have successfully merged traditions and divided the holidays — without majorly offending any in-laws!

“This is very difficult topic with some parents; no one wants traditions to change. But being married things have to change at times, and traditions either have to be adjusted or new ones created. We tell the family whose holiday we will not be attending that we will be going to my husband’s family this time, and the next one we will go to yours. Many times they don’t like it, but honestly it doesn’t matter, it’s my husband and my decision how we do it.

For us we keep it simple, one holiday per family. I would start switching on/off between families and switch for all holidays.” – riderpunk

“We do Thanksgiving with one family, Christmas with the other.” –Dr.Loretta

“I like structure and tradition. We finally broke down and told our families that Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve will always be my husband’s family, and Christmas Day and Easter will always be with my fam. I refuse to squeeze both families in the same day — it makes for a stressful and busy holiday.” – BSSnCEB

“We alternate cities and families. You will never make everyone happy — so set your own priorities.” – Shoshie

“You’re never going to make everyone happy. It gets more complicated when you have kids, so start setting expectations and boundaries now. We don’t travel for every holiday, so there are times when we just don’t see them on the holiday.” –wendilea

Tell your family ‘Hey, [spouse’s name] and I have been talking about Christmas. We really want to focus on quality time with everyone, and as such, we’ve decided to do ____.’ And acknowledge the feelings that come with change: ‘we realize this may not be ideal, but it’s what we feel will work best for us. We wish we could be 2 places at once, but we can’t. It’s going to be a change for everyone, and we totally understand if you’re upset by this. We just hope, though, that you can understand that we have to find a compromise in this.’” –EastCoastBride

“We decided what we were going to do for the holidays when we got married, and the rest of the family just rolls with it. It wasn’t a discussion; it’s our marriage and we had to decide how to handle it.” –uncannycanuck

How do you divide up the holidays? Share in the comments!

Lauren Le Vine

[Source: TheNest.com]

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How Fighting Affects You July 3, 2009

The verdict is in: Constantly arguing with your spouse hurts your health – but spat here or there can actually help you in the end.

By: Caitlin Moscatello from The Nest

Her

  • Heart Problems

Get this: Bottling up feelings can put you at a greater risk for heart disease, according to a Psychosomatic Medicine report. In fact, a study at the University of Utah found that the wrong arguing style could be just as deadly as smoking or high cholesterol. Yikes!

  • Yeast Infections

Yucky but true: Stress from arguing with your spouse can totally mess with your body’s pH and bacteria levels. The result is an itchy overgrowth of yeast that’ll have you running for some Monistat.

  • Breakouts

As you argue, your body heats up, causing your sweat glands to open and produce, you guessed it, sweat. This is why you look pale and moist after a fight (um, hot). Eczema and light rashes are less common, but they do happen to some gals.

  • Nasty Colds

Stress and hormone levels rise much more in women than men during a fight, which takes a major toll on your immune system. Not only are you more likely to feel tired and achy, but you can also get full-blown sick – hence the fever and runny nose after your last big argument!

Both

  • Heavy Breathing

An increased flow of oxygen can cause you to breathe quicker and louder as your lungs, nostrils and throat open up. This type of breathing can lead to dizzy spells, especially as you endorphins kick in and your blood pressure increases.

  • Sleep Woes

After a big, killer fight, you’re exhausted as the rush of adrenaline subsides. And the flip side: A spat that’s left unresolved can lead to anxiety and insomnia.

  • Poor Judgment

Bad timing much? As you go deeper into an argument, our normal way of reasoning gets flipped upside down and you become more susceptible to primitive responses like yelling, kicking, screaming – the works. This is why you slam the door or your spouse gets so loud that your dog freaks out and hides under the coffee table.

  • Stomach Troubles

It’s gross, but fighting can actually make your bowels move faster, which gives your body less time to absorb water. The result: a not-so-sexy case of diarrhea. So much for that make-up sex!

Him

  • Balding

Stressing out over a fight can cause your hair to thin and may actually contribute to long-term baldness (eek!), especially if your arguments are making you freak out on a regular basis.

  • Grinding Teeth

As you suppress your frustration (yup, guys do it too!), you tighten your jaw and facial muscles, which causes your teeth to press up against each other. This can lead to crazy headaches and major wear-and-tear on your (pricey) dental work.

  • Hyperactivity

The rush of adrenaline that comes with the fight-or-flight response (think: sorta like the cavemen) can make you feel antsy and on edge, causing you to pace around the room and fiddle with all the change in your pocket.

  • Impotence

Listen up, guys: Fighting a lot with your wife can totally stress you out, and negative arguing (like the times she calls you an arrogant d-bag) doesn’t exactly help your self-esteem. Yep, we know – who would’ve guessed that (wink)! The combo is way more than enough to take the air out of your, er, tire.

[Source: The Nest, Article Written by: Caitlin Moscatello]

 

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